BLOG 40: As I Approach a Quarter Century...

The wonderful thing about blogging is, you can track your growth in a real, tangible way. Last year this time, I was in a "things are so bad right now that they can only get better" kinda place. My living situation compounded with the stress of law school's first year hazing left me grasping for every little slice of hope possible. My post for my 24th birthday was reflective of that. I ended by saying "I’m looking forward to year 24, a year in which I intend to dance more than I walk and play as hard as I study..."

Did I fulfill that goal? I think so. This year, I lived. And more than anything, I'm proud of myself for that. I didn't bother thinking what anyone else would think of my choices. I took risks. I danced my little heart out. I changed the things in my life that I didn't like. And I found solace in the people who know and love me the most. 24 was a year of re-building.

I'm still a work in progress. There's no denying that. But I feel things differently now.

LESSONS LEARNED IN YEAR 24 :

1. I have to separate what happens to me from who I am.

I'm so so so so so much better than that thing that hurt me, or that grade that I got that I didn't like, or that job opportunity that I didn't get. Those are events that happened to me and that will hopefully be tools I utilize to approach situations in the future. But they are not now, nor have they ever been, who I am.

2. I should only want what wants me.

Now why would anyone NOT want as fabulous an individual as myself in their life? Beats me. Lol. I've lost quite a few friends since my 24th birthday. Not because they died or anything (thank Jesus), but because they chose to walk away. The crazy thing is, I'm a great friend. Sometimes I take a second, look at the space those people filled in my life and say, "Who the hell did [[insert name]] think she was?!" Hmph! At the risk of sounding cocky, I'd like to quote Charlie Sheen: "I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’. I'm a total … rock star from Mars. I'm a winner. I'm winning."

3. I've always got more things to be grateful for than I have to complain about.

When I think of the many, many, many things that I have to be grateful for, I have to catch my breath. God is not through blessing me. This I know for sure. AND every bad, filthy, ugly, unsavory, messy, hurtful, heart-shattering thing that has happened (and will happen) is part of God conditioning me to be the strongest, brightest, most-capable individual possible. In every storm there is a blessing.... and I'm more grateful than words could possibly express.

"I've had sickness
And I've had pain
My heart has been broken
And my life has been strained
But in spite of everything I've been through
I still gotta say thank you...

For your blessings
In spite of my mess
Lord, you blessed me
Right dead in the middle of my test.

I still gotta say thank you..."


This is my truth: MY NAME IS NADIA. I AM 25 YEARS OLD. AND I AM TREMENDOUSLY BLESSED.